O P I N I O N

NOT THAT PROFOUND

by Nate Graziano

For this week’s column I intended to write about the New Hampshire Press Association Awards banquet on Thursday night, where Manchester Ink Link was well-represented among Granite State news organizations. I intended to tell some amusing anecdotes about the ceremony and some of the writers and photographers who contribute to the Ink Link. 

I intended to make it light and whimsical and maybe a little self-deprecating. Then I probably would have pontificated about the hollowness of awards and accolades and the dangers of self-satisfaction, then I’d extol the virtues of hard work and collaboration.

Blah blah blah…

But I’m not going to write about that this week. Because, relatively speaking, it is not that important.

Early Saturday morning, I was awakened twice by nightmares about car crashes. These days I seldom have bad dreams that will wake me from a sleep. I found it strange but went back to bed while my wife—who is an early riser—went to the grocery store.

She called me an hour later in a panic. Immediately, I returned to my dreams. Were they actually premonitions? But it was actually worse than that. It was the worst call a parent could receive: One of our children had been admitted to the ICU.

Let me preface this with the fact that our child is fine. It turned out that they had a serious reaction to a medication that could have been life-threatening. For obvious reasons, I’m not going to disclose any specifics, and what do they matter anyway? The important thing is that our child—I use “child,” although all of our children are now adults—is fine.

While driving to the hospital, shocked and incapable of conversing with my hysterical wife, I started to take some personal inventory. I thought about all of the things that I stress about, the things that I covet, and the things that I ostensibly value, which are ultimately frivolous in comparision.

For example, I might stress about car troubles, or appointments that I can’t make, or things that others might say behind my back. But are these things really that important?

I might covet someone else’s talent, or their looks, or their happiness. But why am I not appreciative of my own?

I might say that I value intelligence, or wit, or success. But why do I forget about love?

For my wife’s sake, I held it together pretty well until we knew for sure that our child was in the clear, that they would live and there would be no lasting side effects. My wife decided to stay the night at the hospital with our child while I went home and would return the next morning.

The second I started my car, I broke down and wept the entire ride home, a mixture of terror and relief.

I want to say that I’ve learned from this experience, and that I’ll change and become a better person because of it, but I think we all know that it is a lot easier to say that than it is to put it into practice.

Besides, the most important thing is that my child called me today, and when I answered the phone, they said, “Hi, Dad.”

Those two words have never been more important to me.