Learning to Hope

It seems these days that many people I run into are going through a rough patch in their lives or are in a period of transition.  From what I’ve witnessed throughout my years in existence, life comes in waves.

Sometimes things just seem to fall into place for a while, and if we’re aware enough, we savor those moments.  Sadly, like everything else in life, those moments are only temporary. Just as the weather isn’t always beautiful, neither is life. While some days are blissful and sunny, others are blustery and cold or filled with a relentless downpour.

I love talking about those good days, like a day at the beach or a night on the town. Those times are easy to talk about and easy to share in, those are the moments we post on Facebook in photos and status updates. We don’t seem as willing to share the
moments where things aren’t going so smoothly and we could really use some help.

For most of us, it’s hard to open up about something we’re struggling with. We don’t want to be perceived by other people as weak or we don’t want to bother other people with our troubles.

Any time that I can have a heartfelt conversation with someone I know about an issue they’re struggling with, it just reaffirms why I’m in my own recovery in the first place:
So that I can be the kind of friend, brother, son, etc., that I always wanted to be.

One thing I try and keep in mind and share with people who are going through something difficult is that ultimately “life goes on.” No matter how bad a job interview went, or a breakup, or a day at work, another day is right around the corner. Tomorrow may be just as bad, it may be worse, but it could also be fantastic. It could be the beginning of a whole new chapter in your life.

Like the weather, much of what goes on is out of your control. But it’s still wise to keep an umbrella handy. I think hope is about keeping a positive mindset toward the
outcome you prefer while still having other plans in place. You don’t put all your eggs in one basket, but you also hope that every basket arrives safely.

In short, I try to be proactive and plan, but I accept that most things are ultimately out of my control. Though I can work to set  myself up for the best outcome by doing my part. I accept that not all days are going to be sunny and bright, but in the words
of the Grateful Dead, “Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.”

So please try and keep an open mind, think positive and be open to change. Be the kind of friend, sibling, child or parent you’ve always wanted to have in your life
and want to be yourself. I believe that if you do that, you will develop the kind of support system around you that will help to get you through the bad times, as well
as help celebrate the good times. After all, we’re all in this together.

Fran Pannulla is a 32-year-old son, brother, aspiring writer and life enthusiast from Philadelphia, PA. When not doing recovery-related things through www.smartrecovery.org, you can find him talking to strangers, jamming to music, reading about world events, getting his learn on, or just overall trying to enjoy everything this life has to offer in a positive and healthy way.  You can contact him at pannullafr@gmail.com.

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