O P I N I O N

BOOMER LIFE

By Annette Kurman

Hey, you, cussing’ over there!

Swearing — It’s a thing all over the world

With the holiday season upon us and so many people out and about, it won’t be uncommon to hear frequent cursing at the mall, at the highway rest area, or walking your kid to school.

I, however, must be a wimp. The closest thing to swearing for me is using such vulgar language as “flippin’,” “shoot” or “dang” (as in as in “Shoot, it’s flippin’ cold outside and I have to walk the dang dog). [Note: I love my dog.]

Am I the only one who’s noticed that swearing is more acceptable in normal conversation than when we were growing up and becoming young adults?

What is swearing —  a shortcut word for not having a more original word to use instead?

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “swear words and taboo words can intensify what is said, but they can shock or give offense (this is an English – as in UK – dictionary meaning). Swearing and the use of taboo words and expressions are quite common in speaking. We often hear and use it both in private and in public settings and in films, on television and on the radio.

The use of taboo expressions suggests that speakers have, or wish to have, a close personal relationship with others. We also use taboo expressions and swear words when we express strong feelings, or when we wish to threaten or to be unpleasant to others.

Do we not have other, more original words as replacements? They don’t have to be S.A.T. words you have to conjure up at a moment’s notice, but every day words as in: “Gosh, it’s very cold outside and I have to walk the uncooperative dog.”

I have to admit that my folks never used swear words. Ever. But my family probably wasn’t typical (then again, whose family was?). For some families, using swear words for both adults and children may be a normal part of daily life. Even young children will point out when someone uses a “bad” word. How did they know it was a bad word to begin with?

But for me, it seems many “regular ” adults (whoever those are) use swear words as part of their daily interactions in public. And because I didn’t hear it growing up and never used it when my kids were growing up, it vexes me.

Remember, back in the day (what an overused phrase!), you heard of kids having their mouth washed out with soap when they cursed? I personally never knew of any grade school peer having that done, but it was out there as a potential consequence.

Once, when my kids were pre-school aged, we were all in a T.J.Maxx fitting room and the two young female employees managing the fitting rooms were having a very intense curse-laden conversation that went on and on. I was not a happy mom.

In fact, I went up to the manager to lodge my complaint with my two tots and to my surprise she marched right over to the young girls and fired them on the spot. Yikes! But then I thought, this must not have been the first time complaints had been lodged.

Am I the only adult who internally cringes when curse words pop up during daily interactions? Or is it my age? Are Millennials or Gen Z more likely to use what we call curse/swear words regularly? Do they do this in the work environment, too?

What brought this whole subject up was an online article on Mental Floss that outlined the countries that swear the most. Can you guess which country was number one? Correct, the US, according to the article (thank you, author Paul Anthony Jones), was the leader by far, followed by the United Kingdom. Countries that swear the least include Saudia Arabia and Bahrain. Surprised? Not.

What was even more interesting in this story was how deep the author went, listing the top swearing large cities (Baltimore at the top) and the bottom swearing cities (Lexington, KY, at the bottom).

But we really want to know how our own state lines up in the swear column. According to the story, the least swearing states include South Dakota, North Dakota, Minnesota and Vermont. The most foul-mouthed states? Maryland, Louisiana, Georgia, and Delaware. The Granite State ranked in the lower half.

Then the Mental Floss writer drilled down even further to the most and least foul-mouth city in every state. Again, Baltimore was at the top and Burlington, VT,  at the bottom. Manchester? Again toward the lower side of curse-word cities.

It’s an interesting read, especially for those not originally from N.H. or those who have lived in several states. Or those who lived in other countries.

But back to me. Over the years I have included “flippin’” in my vocabulary for the other “F” word, as in “My flippin’ phone isn’t working.” I didn’t even think it was an actual word until I searched online to discover a Flippin’ Pizza franchise and Flippin, Arkansas. Who knew?

Is it just people our age that have challenges using wash-out-your-mouth swear words? You tell me.

You can reach Annette Kurman at annette.kurman@gmail.com