Halfway Out: Life after incarceration

Editor’s Note: This is the first installment by Anthony Payton. “Transition” will explore the reality of life after prison, something Anthony knows first hand. This introductory piece was written last year at a pivotal point in his life and provides some background on the who, what, where, when and why of his journey, with a focus on where he’s been and where he’s heading.

On December 10th of 2019, after nearly seven years of incarceration, I walked out of a federal prison right into the federal halfway house that I currently reside in. The feeling was surreal, and I can remember that rainy day step by step.

The ride between has been exhilarating, frustrating, and comical. (As an artist, I have to find the art or meaning in everything). Before I was incarcerated, I had a fiancee, an entertainment business, and my father was alive. After nearly seven years of incarceration, I lost all three. Outside of marginal certifications and independent studies, the things I gained are a 6-year-old daughter, stepsons who are damn near my height, and gray hairs on my chin.

I write this from a room of which I share with three other residents. We’re all grateful to at least be halfway out of the prison, and we look forward to the next step, which is getting our own places. I’m lucky to have a supportive family, and safety net. Even with the aforementioned weapons, it’s still hard. The transition isn’t easy. A lot of it comes down to resources, ego, humility and discipline, but also the want and need to stay the course. So I continue to trust the process and follow the game plan that I made while doing time.

Housing and employment are two of the biggest obstacles that we face upon release. However, thanks to a few progressive and open-minded companies, employment isn’t so scarce. (Due to this COVID-19 pandemic, things have become much tighter). The struggle with re-establishing family and community ties depends on the individual. My transition wasn’t bad, though I have to continue gaining the trust of my young princess, who makes me work for every hug and kiss. I’m slowly earning her trust. It was only after my third day in jail when I found out that her mother was pregnant with her, and most of our bonding was over a telephone. I welcome the challenge, as it’s been something that I’ve only dreamt about over the last six or so years.

I can go on and on about her . . .

My ego was tested during my first 30 days working at a fast-food restaurant. I want to give a shout out to all of the women who dealt with me (on any level) before the incarceration … the ones who knew me. Because good men who, like me, struggle with starting back at square one can become invisible to women, especially the closed-minded ones.

I was overworked, overqualified and underpaid. Yet – and still – I left my shift with my head held high. My glow was still majestic because I know my true worth. Fast forward 30 days later, and I found consistent and gainful employment at a warehouse. The pay was much better.

And that’s when things started coming together like butt cheeks.

I’m steps from moving into my own place, and I’m about to dabble in investments that don’t involve digital scales, transporters and sandwich baggies. I’m now a part of the upwardly-mobile and pro-social ecosystem.

This is my story. It’s a hell of a ride … stay tuned.

Anthony Payton is a Brooklyn-born content creator and media maker, a proud father who loves writing, cooking and learning. Reach him at anthonypayton111@gmail.com